Lost all the inspiration and motivation that was inside you years ago? Got to the point where you have no more fuel to drive you?
Yes, we understand that there’s no more fire within you and that the only feeling you’ve managed to retain is the one that you’re a failure.
Now you may think:
What else to call someone who’s in debt, jobless or with other similar big life issues and without any clear future vision for how to get unstuck and move forward in life when you keep experiencing failures only.
The only thing you feel capable of is falling deeper in a hole of failures, right?
It may seem so at the moment, but the reality is much different.
In fact, sometimes we all lose motivation and get into such a slump that it seems impossible to even consider making positive changes. Even the most motivated individuals have been there.
Here’s the truth:
Your focusing on failures only made you almost blind so that you cannot see that spark deep inside you. But it doesn’t mean that the fire exists no more.
You’ll learn how to find it and regain your motivation to learn and thrive even in moments of life that seem desperate at first sight.
For start, open your eyes and heart and stop fixating them on failures only.
These tips will help you move in the right direction and find that fire again.
1. Reflect on what drives you to regain your confidence
To get the ball rolling and get your motivation back, start with figuring out what drives you.
Many people have realized that their driving force, their “why”, is to live with intention and purpose.
Whatever it is for you, only by uncovering it will you be able to regain your confidence and develop or change your mindset for success. Motivation comes with it.
If you look back on your journey to particular achievements in life, chances are you’ll find out that a specific purpose and your true life passion was the underlying force behind your motivation and desires.
Here’s a little push to help you figure out your life purpose in less than five minutes:
Not only will living with a purpose will make you happier and healthier, but such a meaningful objective is the most critical driving factor enabling you to be motivated to work hard, to find ways and solutions for achieving your ultimate goal and desire.
That’s where the force that pushes you forward springs from, isn’t it?
To find it, just ask yourself:
‘Why am I pursuing this goal?’
If the reason is vague, so will your motivation be. It’s because you need a meaningful reason and an objective that matters to you to be able to stay motivated and focus your energy in the right direction without wasting it.
So, why wouldn’t you take a few minutes NOW to do a quick reflection?
Choose one aspect in your life you feel you lack motivation and let’s start fixing it.
For instance, let’s say it’s your job. Note down the reasons why you’re doing it.
Then, think about how it’s aligned with your genuine life purpose. What exactly in that job provides you with the meaning and the force to keep moving forward in life? That’s very likely the core of your motivation.
What have you learned from this introspection?
Does your current job help you make progress towards your life purpose? Or you’re feeling you’re off the target?
Whatever your answer is, no need to panic.
Every day is a new start, offering plenty of marvelous opportunities and untapped potential. Seize them with both hands and turn your life in the desired direction.
It’s never too late as long as you know where you’ve come from, where you’re going, and why you’re going there.
Remember – YOU are the only person behind the steering wheel of your life.
2. Shift your focus on positive aspects
Have you noticed how we mentioned being jobless, in debt and with no clear future vision at the beginning of this article? That was in our focus of attention.
How can you expect to feel the slightest motivation if you have the same negative focus?
Now, ask yourself what you are really focusing on:
- Your most miserable life moments?
- Numerous missed opportunities in life?
- A relationship that didn’t bring you the happiness you expected and deserve?
- A project that failed even if you put in tremendous effort and dedicated many hours of hard work to it?
The list can go on and on and it only causes frustration you have no idea how to get rid of.
Naturally, you cannot expect motivation to emerge from an attitude creating such poisonous feelings inside you, can you?
At times, we all fall in the trap of focusing on if’s and how to’s instead of do’s, but be aware that it is more of a distraction than a motivation.
So, next time you start thinking this way and notice you’re focusing on failures only, take a step back to look at the bigger picture. You’ll realize how far you’ve come and how much more you have to go to hit the goal.
Don’t dwell on the reasons why you failed to accomplish the goal. Instead, acknowledge all those small steps on the way that went well because they’re what truly matters.
Stop thinking about how difficult your journey is. Think about how you will benefit from it.
For instance, instead of thinking about how tiring exercise can be, you should focus on what you will get out of it: you’ll be healthier and slimmer.
That’s what we mean by shifting your focus onto positive aspects.
Check out this Alternate Futures Self-Motivation Exercise to help you change your thinking.
Here’s a handy video to help you understand how this mind switch works and hopefully avoid getting stuck in the negative thinking:
Try paying closer attention to your thoughts. Learn to recognize that negative self-talk triggering your slump and start replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. You’ll see how energizing it is.
If you adopt such a perspective, you’ll be able to learn from unfavorable situations and you’ll rarely feel discouraged.
When you learn how to deal with failure properly, you’ll be able to turn every failure into success and get the most out of it without sinking.
3. Find a trustworthy person to support you
When feeling down and all you can see in your life is a failure, having a trustworthy person you can count on is precious. Relying on such individuals for personal or professional advice is the support you need when experiencing setbacks.
So, establishing a solid support system when in trouble is well worth your effort be it:
- finding yourself a mentor,
- paying a professional counselor,
- reaching out to a close friend,
- asking your partner or another family member for help,
- joining an online support group or forum or
- confiding in any other suitable individual you trust.
Here’s an example of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) in action – Moving the Unconscious Obstacle in the Way of Motivation.
Watch a professional NLP practitioner helping a woman who was struggling with motivation and self-doubt regarding a big goal she set in 20 minutes to better realize how a trained coach can help you.
Whatever your choice is, all these people have the same role and one goal in common – to help you get motivated so that you overcome your slump.
Their honest feedback can help you clarify the situation, inspire you to take action and even equip you with the right tools for it.
They need to believe in you even when you doubt. You need to be close so that you can ask each other any powerful hard-hitting questions and trust them when they guide you and act as the mirror into your internal world with the reflection you cannot escape.
You already have all the answers deep inside yourself, but you perhaps just need a little help to raise self-awareness and reveal them.
They are here to encourage you every step of the way and hold you to your commitment when/if you have trouble holding yourself accountable.
So, when you feel your motivation is ebbing away, turn to your offline or online support network and talk your problems through with the ones you can trust.
It’s tremendously difficult to accomplish everything yourself and you shouldn’t strive for it. Whatever you’re up to, no need to do it alone because you are NOT alone.
Other people’s encouragement will boost your motivation especially at challenging tough times.
Reaching out for help and support is never a sign of weakness, but strength and self-growth.
4. Find a role model to look up to
It’s eye-opening and helpful to look not only at your purpose and reasons but the people that motivate you. That’s because your motivation often lies behind the person you are motivated by due to their qualities you admire and respect.
So, the next logical step could be to jump into the shoes of someone you truly admire, be it your hard-working parents, busy neighbor, teacher, boss or another person and pay attention to what motivates them to pursue their dreams.
Find the same qualities in yourself and believe you can do it.
Also, any of the individuals we mentioned above can be your role model who shows you something was really possible to achieve for them, which means that you can achieve the same thing as well by copying their model.
So instead of a constant struggle to reinvent the wheel, you can simply follow in someone else’s footsteps leading to your desired outcome.
As simple as that!
5. Think about what you can accomplish today
As we’ve already pointed out, focus on the positive thoughts and think about what you’d like to accomplish till the end of this day.
No need to worry about the obstacles which are holding you back for the moment.
Just list a few simple daily goals you want to achieve today accompanied by a couple of positive outcomes when you get the tasks done.
For example, if you have research to do so that you can write an article on a particular topic, your positive outcomes may look like this perhaps:
- I’ll gain a lot of useful knowledge.
- I’ll make myself and my manager proud of what I accomplished.
- I’ll get closer to getting a promotion if I do the job well so that I can earn more while doing what I love. (That will enable me to cut my working hours and finally start spending more time with my children.)
Writing down three things only would suffice and it’s important not to skip this step. Make sure you’re focused on the top three positive outcomes.
Then, think about the part or phase of doing this task that you enjoy most. There must be at least a single enjoyable component in every task. Something small you like about what you have to do. When you realize what it is, get onto the task and enjoy the very act of doing it for what it’s worth.
Get active now
And before you start acting, remember the following:
- You are NOT alone. Every human being who has ever existed has come across a period in their lives when they lose their momentum. Losing motivation simply happens to everyone.
When it strikes you, bring to your conscious mind all those small things you’re grateful for, happy and excited about. They will serve as a lifebelt to help you swim back up to the surface with less effort.
- Life comes in waves – ups and downs – so your current lack of motivation is just a temporary standstill, not a huge life failure.
Learn to fight and go against the flow. Don’t let the negative thoughts and events and your doubts become your habit and knock you off the right course.
- A magic wand, switch or another perfect remedy for regaining your motivation does NOT exist. You’ll have to put some effort into reigniting that fire in your life.
Good news: you have the power and inner strength to do it if you’re willing to try.